Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
