I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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