If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
