is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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