I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
