I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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