I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
