The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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