just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
