on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
