he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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