just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You ate ashes out of my bong
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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