I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
