and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
