Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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