Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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