:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
