if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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