i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
