Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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