Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
