I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize