i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
