i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Soap is not a condiment
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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