We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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