Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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