I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
