You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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