I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
4 words: hood of his car
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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