I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize