Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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