oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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