Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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