Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
