Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
