office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
