Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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