then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
