Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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