Whod you bang
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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