He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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