i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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