What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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