No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize