Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
