I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
