yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
