Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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