Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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