So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
