well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
