I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
