Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
