Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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