We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
