I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
