Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
