this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
