What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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