Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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