The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
