i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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