I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
only if we run a train.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
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Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.