Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard