just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?