Please, let me fuck your mom
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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