I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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